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sometimes i wonder
if it's really true--

if history really does just
repeat
& repeat
& repeat.

and now we're stuck in its loop where
you're holding everything back
and i'm holding everything in.

and there's nothing to do,
but hope for the best
or at least something better.

but for now, i just wonder
if there's anyone else
who misses quite as much
as i do.

it's never enough to remember,
but it's always too much
to forget.
when i'm done thinking.
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:icontsamitsunami:
TsamiTsunami Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, there is so much emotion in this, and you've expressed it so well... The lethargy that comes with a relationship that's going nowhere--I can almost feel it just by reading this. So moving, and so very well done. ^_^
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:iconvalynaporia:
ValynAporia Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012
I love the way this flows.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012   Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconshortwings:
shortwings Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012
Oooh. I really like that last paragraph.
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:iconthenewzerohero:
thenewzerohero Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2012
What a fantastic poem! For some reason I kinda think of it as like two pieces of thread, going in opposite directions but folding into one another and ending up going the same way in the end. "Loop" probably puts that idea in my head, but the "you're holding everything back/and i'm holding everything in" and "it's never enough to remember,/but it's always too much/too forget" keep it there. So good. I like how the 'series of unconnected thoughts' is kinda mimicked as well in the feeling of the poem. It kinda references things obscure to the reader and that seem 'unconnected', but for you, they must be - so the poem is kinda saying, all thoughts are connected, though maybe not at first glance. and maybe I'm just reading into things that aren't there :P Great work. :D
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012   Writer
nooo! I think you did pretty well.

All the pieces do loop together for me, but I got the feeling to an outsider, it would seems like just a bunch of random thoughts.

Thank you <3
Reply
:iconx0xox4:
x0xoX4 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
"it's never enough to remember,
but it's always too much
to forget."
Love it!!
Haha, I noticed that like every other status I post on Facebook is something you wrote xD
I love your work!
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
haha, thank you so much. At least I'm facebook famous somewhere in the world (this makes up for the complete lack of love I give my own facebook statuses. as in I never update it ever. It probably feels horribly neglected.)
Reply
:iconx0xox4:
x0xoX4 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome :D Haha, I hardly update my statuses, but when I do it's usually stuff you wrote xD
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:iconpolymachaeroplagides:
Polymachaeroplagides Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Student Writer
I really like how you worked with your verbs here, using them in an intransitive manner, at times forcing it, and thus creating some kind of emptiness, hollowness (eg. repeat: usually it should be "repeat itself" or at least "repeat something"). I would have very much liked to see whether this could be done more consequently, but it's still great the way you did it.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
I love how this comment makes me feel like I actually am trying to do wonderful things when really, I'm probably just being grammatically incorrect. I'll take it though -- totally meant to do this. (:

Honestly, I have little foresight into anything I do, but I do love the idea of having carried it through a bit more. Maybe I'll rework and actually just my head a bit more. Thank you.
Reply
:iconpolymachaeroplagides:
Polymachaeroplagides Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student Writer
Sometimes it's just intuition. Personally, thinking too much about a concept ends with me really disliking its outcome. Creating such moments I described "accidentally" only shows that one had a rather authentic feel for the piece. So, that's even better than planning it all cool-mindedly. :D
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:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Student Writer
Love. Times a million. Wonderful job, love. It's concise, but powerful. <3
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student Writer
you're most welcome!
Reply
:iconstaphysagria:
staphysagria Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like this a lot, dear.

It reads like a song; it could be put to music, a melody, rhythm. This is very beautiful indeed.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
Oh, thank you! I love when people say things read like a song. It makes it seem more exceptionally beautiful than I can imagine. Thank you.
Reply
:icontangerineterranova:
TangerineTerranova Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You make my day! :)
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
ah, you're sweet. you've made mine as well (:
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:iconsilverrein:
silverrein Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very eloquent. Relatable. I dig it.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconkisamesurfer123:
KisameSurfer123 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
simply beautiful ^^
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconarodnap666:
Arodnap666 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Question: What Do You Think Is THE Best Thing You've Written... And Why?
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
Mmm, I don't think I could pick really. I'm over critical of my work and tend to think I'm not really much of a writer even though I want to be. It's probably irrational, but I would say that they all have a special place in my heart for their own reasons.
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:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Professional Writer
and I thought how easy it is to destroy the past and how difficult to forget it.

Jeanette Winterson - Written on the Body
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012   Writer
Always with the Jeanetter Winterson -- I'm getting on that. I found a copy of Art and Lies at a used book store last weekend, but it was worse for the wear and falling apart so I had to pass it up because of the price. I'll keep looking though. I so want to read her work!
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:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Professional Writer
I can't wait until you do! I found her first because of a truly amazing contemporary lit professor I had in college. My mom and I are both obsessed with her. :D
Reply
:iconunderstandability:
understandability Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
sometimes, you have to remember that it's never enough to forget what's always too much. :heart:
not that you asked, but i'm here if you want to talk about it. i know how it is to write and not know what to say. i know how it is to want to create but to be debilitated. you have captured this feeling beautifully with this poem, even if you weren't trying to.

you're terribly pacifying.
and in the same breath,
you're my lungs full of fresh air.

if you know what i'm trying to say.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012   Writer
THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. this whole comment makes my heart so happy. (After I finish writing this comment you're going onto my watch list)

and thank you so much -- i'm actually doing okay, i think i may be a misleading writer since i recycle a lot of old thoughts and feelings, but mix them in with new stuff. so sometimes, i feel what i write at that exact moment and sometimes, it's a feeling from a past life. i do, however, always love to talk about anything ever. so i appreciate the offer and want you to know that it's open in reverse as well (:
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:iconunderstandability:
understandability Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you.

i'm a misleading writer, too, i recycle words and newspapers and commas and semicolons and phrases that i hated and turn them into something i'll love... and then hate again two days later.
some feelings just never go away.
i just write what i feel a lot of the time.

this previous comment?
that's how this beautiful piece made me feel.
it touched me, and it made me feel, and i've got to thank you for that.

my husband is usually the only one that can make me feel, and make me feel good. this poem? it made me feel good.
about you, about me, about life, about sea urchins. just in general.

i'm ranting. :blush:

thank you again, not only for the watch & the flattery, but for writing this. for writing, period. :heart:
Reply
:iconyesterdayswake:
YesterdaysWake Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I don't know which is more beautiful; the masterpiece above this or the comment below.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012   Writer
i vote the comment below! (:
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:iconunderstandability:
understandability Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
oh, you're too kind. :hug:
this is a beautiful piece of literature that *paperheartsyndrome wrote, though. i'm in love with it like i'm in love with walking barefoot on the beach.
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