we're all standing still.

He's not coming back this time.

It's hard to remember that sometimes when a door shuts, it just stays closed. There's no other consequence. No other opportunity. Just one more way you can't go. One more person that you can't follow. Sometimes, you're just as stuck as you feel so it doesn't matter if the earth travels one million six hundred thousand miles through space every day. You are in the same place as yesterday so all that other movement is just superfluous. It's not bringing anyone closer together. It's not going toward any sort of destination. There is no end. No point. It's just ceaseless movement through an ever-expanding universe that only keeps getting bigger until you're simply a tiny pinpoint that feels absolutely alone. And meaningless. Unnecessary. And all of this just makes it feel overwhelmingly true.

The truth is most of the roads here only go one way.

Some days, you believe you can get out of here and live somebody else's life in some other place and with all of this, you will find happiness. You won't be standing still anymore. You'll be leaving just like he left. You'll be gone so it won't matter how stuck shut that door is. But the sadder truth is that once you go, you can't come back. So when you left in a storm, destroying everything in your path, you kept hold of this tiny hope that one day, you could come home and everything would go back to what it was. You both could come home. To each other. But the thing you forgot is, of course, it won't rain forever but that each drop that falls from the sky is reshaping the landscape, eroding the roads that connect us to each other, drastically altering what we leave behind us. So someday, when you come back, you won't even recognize it. So here you are. You can't look back. But you're too afraid to move forward. Just as stuck as when that door first slammed.

Except this is moving on.

Maybe you've lost the feeling in your feet from all this standing still and you can't remember that footfalls sound like heartbeats if you can bring yourself to believe again. All of this could last a lifetime. This endless doubt. This sad silence. The holding on. Maybe all of this could have ended up differently if you caught that door before it shut and followed, but you didn't and now you need to find a new way to go. Since this can't be the end of everything. You just need to keep looking for the new beginning.