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mataeology by ~paperheartsyndrome:iconpaperheartsyndrome:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


i.
i remember when you told me that
falling in love was like swallowing glitter
so i imagined us with glistening skin
and sparkling eyes with diamond tinged lips brushing together
until you sneezed another cloud of stardust
and i remembered that really
you swallowed flecks of glass that were cutting up your insides
making you cough heart shaped splatters of red into open hands
as you told me that love will destroy us all.

(the thing is
then i must have died the day i met you.)

ii.
i used to call you my kleptomaniac
since you stole my breaths
like you stole my heart
and you called me a lost romantic
and drew me a map back to reality
complete with instructions on how
to restart my heartbeats
and fall out of love.

(but the only place i wanted to go
was to where you would never take me.)

iii.
last week, you told me that you didn't want to love me
so you scheduled sessions and surgeries
where they inserted a steel heart with flaking bits of rust
and clockwork gears that would grind to a halt
and pump lies instead of love
and then they stole all your memories of us
and stored them in a cardboard box
that you labeled the death of me
since to you
that's all a lifetime of iloveyous could ever be.

(you were my everyday
and now you took that away.)

iv.
i still have this picture of you walking away from me
silhouetted by a falling sun and a world on fire
and a thin line of footprints that look more like heartbeats
and i'm jealous of how you could even make leaving look beautiful
so lately i've been wondering how long it will take for me to stop loving you
but instead i've gotten rid of all the clocks that remind me
and broken all those ticking watches with their spinning hands
so that i don't have to know
how much time i've wasted on you.

(the truth is your name is always on my lips
and i'm choking on the words.)

v.
now all i have is this crushing sense of regret
that i keep between the folds of my heart and the curve of my spine
that's making it harder to breathe
and i've learned that i can still find you
in that place before dreaming
with your taste like apricots and fallen stars
and as your lips touch mine and
i can almost feel your heart hammering inside my chest
i remember that you'll always be my favorite kind of nightmare.

(you throw away such beautiful words
but i waste them on you.)
©2009 ~paperheartsyndrome
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:

Author's Comments

mataeology
n. - useless or pointless discourse; worthless conversation

----
04.09.09
7:31pm
-----
i wish i was still dreaming.

You lose your mind if you lose control
it makes you feel ashamed for the hearts you stole
And now your own heart's scared of an attack
cause you can't give them back
-copeland

Comments


love 3 3 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 1 1 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconthe-chemical-factory:
~the-chemical-factory Apr 9, 2009, 4:48:14 PM
i love every part :heart:

--

i'll move to paris,
shoot some heroin
and fuck with the stars.
:iconlosingmyfaith:
*losingmyfaith Apr 9, 2009, 5:14:54 PM
amazing. i love this. "and spakling eyes with diamond"--that should be sparkling though, i think (: great work!

--
" ...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
~paperheartsyndrome Apr 9, 2009, 5:23:54 PM
oh for sure, that was an awesome catch. (i happen to be the queen of typos) so thankyouthankyouthankyou.

and for the favorite. and everything. :heart:
:iconrah-nonameforme:
~Rah-NoNameForMe Apr 9, 2009, 5:24:01 PM
'my favorite kind of nightmare'

So pretty!
And I like the structure.
Which sounds weird.

--
...
:iconpiratesdontcry:
=piratesdontcry Apr 9, 2009, 5:31:15 PM
this is wonderful, really beautiful :heart:

uhm, stanza 4, line 4 reads
"and i'm jealous of how you could even making leaving look beautiful"

should it be make? instead of making.

just something i picked up on =) :heart:
:iconlosingmyfaith:
*losingmyfaith Apr 9, 2009, 5:32:51 PM
you're very welcome (: keep up the great work!

--
" ...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
~paperheartsyndrome Apr 9, 2009, 5:37:12 PM
yes, you win the prize (that's the second ridiculous mistake i've had to fix on this one so thankyou...i hate when i make those sort of typos)
just thank you so much :heart:
:iconpiratesdontcry:
=piratesdontcry Apr 9, 2009, 5:41:38 PM
dont worry cuz i do it every time
when i write ^^
this is a really beautiful piece though :heart:
no problem =)
:iconesotericheart:
~EsotericHeart Apr 9, 2009, 5:42:47 PM
"i still have this picture of you walking away from me
silhouetted by a falling sun and a world on fire
and a thin line of footprints that look more like heartbeats"
Amazing imageryyyy. ♥♥
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