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It's been a long time since I felt like this.

It's all small kicks of my heartbeat
and subtle smiles when no one's looking.
I'm checking my phone messages
more times than any girl should,
but you're not letting me down.

You remind me of a time when things were easy
before I memorized what sadness felt like
and stopped feeling alive.

And for the first time, I don't feel broken
in a way that can't be fixed.
I don't feel like I was built in a way
that doesn't fit.
or i'll end up falling harder than i meant to.

just something silly and small.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconforpoetry:
ForPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You've been featured here [link]
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:icondystopiandino:
dystopiandino Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2012
"You remind me of a time when things were easy, before I memorized what sadness felt like and stopped feeling alive."

Wow.

J'adore.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2012   Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconlast1dogdemon:
last1dogdemon Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
wow did you get into my head or something?
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012   Writer
haha, no. i just met a pretty exceptional boy. (:
Reply
:iconlast1dogdemon:
last1dogdemon Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
i see funny so did i ^^ hope you get him
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012   Writer
So far so good (: you too!
Reply
:iconlast1dogdemon:
last1dogdemon Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
thank you best friend so good chance ^^
Reply
:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: Very different from your usual theme. I like. :heart:
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012   Writer
Thank you! and I know! I'm excited to write something happy. It's been awhile since I've had the emotions to match such a thing (:
Reply
:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
Reply
:iconnteg8tiondenyd:
nteg8tiondenyd Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012
:)
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012   Writer
<3<3<3
Reply
:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Student Writer
:heart: :huggle:
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012   Writer
the world is so wonderful, emily. SO WONDERFUL <3
Reply
:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012  Student Writer
Haha, the world is wonderful.

You must tell me what's up! <3
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012   Writer
i will note you!!! (:
Reply
:iconimpracticaldreamer25:
impracticaldreamer25 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
This is so adroable and sweet, it's full of emotion that isn't comepletely sad...i also can relate :)
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012   Writer
thank you! it's been quite some time since i could convincingly write the happy stuff, so just thank you (:
Reply
:iconphoenixascension:
phoenixascension Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
I think, somehow, we're linked. Because you always write things that completely relate to what I'm feeling or whats going on in my life. So beautiful <3
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012   Writer
awh, thank you. this makes me happy since if i'm happy then you're happy and the whole world is wonderful. and i like that a lot.
Reply
:iconangryangel57:
angryangel57 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
or i'll end up falling harder than i meant to.

even if you do,it's ok.
I did xD
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012   Writer
I never listen to myself so I'm already falling pretty hard. It's not so bad (:
Reply
:icondead-ontheinside:
DEAD-OnTheInside Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
You remind of a time when things were easy
remind me of a time...
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
ahhh, thank you!!
Reply
:iconmetalartist2:
metalartist2 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012  Student Interface Designer
neat
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconmetalartist2:
metalartist2 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Student Interface Designer
ur welcome
Reply
:iconlife-ls-beautiful:
Life-ls-Beautiful Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
:D :D :D SO MUCH HAPPINESS!
Reply
:iconlife-ls-beautiful:
Life-ls-Beautiful Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!!!

RAWR so happy to see you happy!! _insert happy dance here_

(also, i blame you for growing something that could pass as the beginning of a backbone to start to put my stupid words on here. is a work in progress, i'm still editing, but know that it is all. your. fault. thought you might like to know baha)

<3
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
haha, thank you!!! it's obviously a different thing for me. which makes it even MORE happy.

(awh! i'm okay with taking that blame. let me know if you put something up. i wanna read it!!!)
Reply
:iconlife-ls-beautiful:
Life-ls-Beautiful Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
eesh the idea of showing you scares the living daylights out of me, so thats why i'm going to haha.. need to stop being so chicken.

if you got any ideas, please feel free to share :3 but you dont have to read them, if you dont have time or dont want to :)

asdfghjk ... ok. breathing is good haha. i'm very nervous about showing people my writing.

ok so this is what i wrote right after i broke up with my ex, who was a lovely kid until very recently: [link]

and this is what i wrote after said ex wasnt so nice, and i realised how lucky i was to have a brilliant friend who has been there for a long time, and helped me realise that its possible to let more than one person into your life at a time. among other things, blahblah.. anyway, had a bit of a lightbulb moment and wrote this: [link]

have lotsa other stuff around haha but not ready for it to see the light of day yet ..
Reply
:iconlittlemissdifferent:
LittleMissDifferent Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
Beautiful. :) You made me hopeful.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
thank you.
my life makes hopeful. if it can even do that.
Reply
:iconfightlight31:
FightLight31 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel you but in a guy way
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
haha, good (:
Reply
:iconfightlight31:
FightLight31 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(If you understand the last few parts about life just skip to the end I tend to write and ramble.)
I just do things a little different. See I have a small tiny little crush on someone. But cause the time doesn't seem right yet I prefer to keep my feelings hidden seems strange to hide them even to me but it's just how I want to live my life. No one can control it, a life is something that the person controls not the parents, they can accept it but must step forward even if it important that it is to be hidden. Life is like a tree. The leaves fall of and its cold and bare but when another time comes it is full of colours. Life is like that there are ups and downs.

My way is simple, stay hidden until it is felt right, be ready when feelings between you and the one are true. If things don't work out remember, everyone deserves 2 things. A second chance, and an explanation. But when you just can't tell remember this. There is someone out there, for everyone. Sounds a bit cliché but it is what you want to feel with another but not see.

When you know the two people blush. When you assume you see hands holding. When you are confident you don't know what to say, but you know what to ask.
What I think is this, if life is not all ups don't get all down because of 1 chance but just get something to cheer you up. Funny videos, nice songs, or just plain have a gentle talk with people.

For me I listen to music. The one that fits me are
#1: Because,because,because by Gumi. She is a person from Vocaloid (Japanese electronic band) This song is about hiding feelings and being closer to what her crush likes. [link]
#2: Snow Story by Len Kagamine. another Vocaloid person. Halfway in he says "I am the Cupid of Love" and then he is helping a boy with his crush. [link]
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Professional Writer
:) You made me smile.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
Good good, because I've been smiling a lot lately so it's wonderful to return the favor!
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012  Professional Writer
Yay!! :)
Reply
:iconhinpink:
HinPink Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Student Writer
I can totally relate. This is awesome :)
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
Thank you! and i'm glad you can relate since this piece is actually kinda happy unlike everything else i write (:
Reply
:iconhinpink:
HinPink Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012  Student Writer
No problem :)
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
Hopeful and cautious
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
Precisely. Getting more reckless as we speak.
Reply
:iconunderstandability:
understandability Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
sometimes, you've got to get your hopes up in order to feel the way that you do.
sometimes, you've got to love without holding back, because sometimes,
you don't mean to fall that hard,
but love's funny that way.
let yourself be frightened, terrified,
but not enough to run away.
enough to let yourself
fall
in.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012   Writer
i love this! why are you so wonderful.

(as i should probably listen to what you're saying here. i intend to at least.)
Reply
:iconunderstandability:
understandability Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i find myself pondering the same about you.

if it doesn't work out, at least you can say you tried without holding back.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012   Writer
awh <3

good point. i'm trying and so far, it's going good (:
Reply
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