In the hallway, hung beside that photo you always loved
(you know, the one where we're squinting into the sun
since you said that there was nothing more beautiful
than uv ray vision and lightbeams and the way my eyes flared in the brightness)
there is an old cross-stitched sampler that your grandma made
with embellished glass beads and picket fences that says home is where the heart is
but since my heart left with you
all I have is four walls and a door
and a compulsive need to wander.
_
My restless feet like to take me up and down the floor
of what we used to call our home
to the second bedroom where you stored all your books
and now I like to wonder where you kept all your stories
all your lies.
_
And some days, I find myself going past
that place down on seventh
where we used to sip our drinks out of mismatched ceramic cups
and you first told me that you'd love me forever
as we sat on the rickety chairs, elbows on the table, staring into starlicked eyes
you were worse than those mugs of coffee the way you'd keep me up at night
Now I still can't sleep
as I curl around pillows and endless memories
in the hopes of not feeling so alone.
_
Up the street a ways,
past where my feet will take me
is that old antique shop where you found little heart shape bottles
that you collected rainwater dyed with food coloring in
and you lined them up on the window sills
calling them our dreams
and then you took those with you when you left
except the one you dropped in your rush to go
as you mumbled lines about how you can't be tied down
about how you were too young to be in love.
I still have scars on the pads of my fingers
from trying to glue that glass heart back together
in hopes that it would mend my real one instead
but that was stupid
since it wasn't just broken
it was gone.
_
And when I get tired of walking
I take the old car with the rusting doors and cracked windshield
and I remember how you once told me that you and I just clicked
and all I could think of was the metal edges of seat belts grinding together
and how the one in this car gets stuck
so I was always afraid I would never be able to get out
(if I fell into love with you)
but that was a wasted worry
since you had no trouble cutting ties or packing suitcases.
_
And now when I wander
I like to search the streets
for the pieces of me
so I can put myself together
now that you're gone.
you used to act like love was a favor
well, it was one you never deserved.
[the worst part is I'd still let you have it
since all of this walking has gotten me nowhere.]













Comments
--
" ...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
--
I adopted a siberian husky ginjinka from ~Alucard9407! [link]
Thanks so much.
(and for the watch as well as the favorite. That means a lot to me
You are toooooo sweet.
oh my GAWD i love this!!
*faves and wishes she could get this tattooed on the insides of her eyelids*
ADORATION
--
Each man kills the thing he loves. -Oscar Wilde
The hawk on fire hangs still. Dilly dilly, calls the loft hawk, come and be killed. Dilly dilly, come let us die.
it's those stupid things we say in the rain, the words that can't ever be washed away.
--
" ...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
But making something so true and real and detailed.
And yes...
You're fantastic at memories and people, shall I say?
--
invisiblechildren.com
"I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me."
- Randal Graves, Clerks II
Now I still can't sleep
as I curl around pillows and endless memories
in the hopes of not feeling so alone.
And...
And now when I wander
I like to search the streets
for the pieces of me
so I can put myself together
now that you're gone.
Absolutly amazing. This is exactly how I feel. Incredible job.
--
~Neon~ We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
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