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sometimes, it's morning. and i've forgotten to brush my hair again. or how to tie my shoes or what my name sounds like. and that i don't believe in anything anymore. and that's when i realize that i'm losing little pieces of myself to you.

and the tip of my tongue is stained with the taste of stale paint from the renovating you've done with my mind. and for the next four hundred and seventy three and a half hours i'll be staring at the ceiling. since i'm waiting for your flavor to fade. or maybe i'm just waiting for you to come back to me. since my fingertips are losing their feeling. and the strands of my hairs are splitting. i'm aging in reverse. or fast forward. and the next time you see me, i'll be older than i've ever been before. so press play. since i'm sick of being stuck on pause.

and some days, when i'm waiting for the earth to move again, i count every one of my eyelashes and measure the distance it would take for them to fall so i can calculate all the wishes i'm missing. and in a hundred and fifty one days, maybe i can wish that you never happened or maybe i can wish that you really did love me. and sometimes, i pray since i like the feel of your name in my mouth and the way that pretend tastes and the fact that maybe repeating something is enough to make it true. but the truth is this feeling is the exact opposite of believing.

and right now, i want to be twenty three minutes into forgetting you but instead i'm watching your lies change shape as i go backwards through my memories. i like to watch your carefully pronounced vowels wrap into endless loops where you and i become concentric circles since that's all we are. we'll never touch and we'll never go anywhere again.

but all i am are my words. and sometimes, they're not enough. and maybe i've wasted the last forty seven minutes trying to convince myself that "love" and "in love" are two very different concepts. maybe they're not. and maybe if they are, it doesn't matter. since maybe i say i'm not in love. but i'm a liar. the problem is so are you. you once told me, my heartbeat was your favorite song. well, broken hearts don't beat anyway.
sometimes, i fall in love with lies.
since they make the truth sound better.


_____

sometimes, i don't know what i'm writing. and this is one of those times. just something i had stuck in my head.
probably scrapsssss. (or maybe not.)

______

full title: broken hearts don't beat anyway
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:iconcutetango:
cutetango Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Damn! This is amazing!
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:icon143am:
143Am Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Unfortunately, true for so many of us :heart:
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:iconwinterravenheart:
WinterRavenheart Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
I can empathise, not exactly because of a breakup... but we are drifting away and my heart is in conflict. The poetry in the way you express yourself is beautiful, even in it's sadness. I hope writing like this helps you, it certainly helped me.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   Writer
Well, I hope things work out for you. And writing is very therapeutic for me. It helps me move past the hurt and things ended up working out wonderful for me.
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:iconlilmoe-moe:
lilmoe-moe Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012
Ha I love this it suits of how I feel for the pass 2months
Reply
:iconkaylalayla13:
KaylaLayla13 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012
So true! </3
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:iconkitty1030:
kitty1030 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2012
i no how u feel its happened b4
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:iconameliila:
Ameliila Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012
beautiful, so true...<3
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012   Writer
thanks so much <3
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:iconemmieycathiey:
EmmieyCathiey Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
That's real talk bro
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012   Writer
haha, thanks!
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:iconemmieycathiey:
EmmieyCathiey Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
"real talk" is a term a learned from my ghetto school, but it's such a useful phrase
Reply
:iconanimelover74:
animelover74 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011
I love! I just love the last line "you once told me, my heartbeat was your favorite song. well, broken hearts don't beat anyway."
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012   Writer
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconkandivixenkhaos-92:
KandiViXenKHAOS-92 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow...that's...absolutely beautiful...this speaks to me so much...my boyfriend of over a year just broke up with meTuesday night...

this poem best describes my broken heart...
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011   Writer
i am so sorry. i can safely say i know the feeling and it makes me sad for you. i hope things get better <3
Reply
:iconkandivixenkhaos-92:
KandiViXenKHAOS-92 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah, me too.=/
Reply
:iconemopunkrockerchik:
EmoPunkRockerChik Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Awwwww this is so touching :') it made me cry a little it really is beautiful :') and it speaks the truth Broken Hearts really don't beat :) I should know I've had my heart broken 6 times :) but I still manage to pull through and smile :) I love it! <3
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:iconperfectreaper:
PerfectReaper Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
oh wow... that was.. just amazing... i've recently had a really bad breakup so.. i know that feeling
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011   Writer
not a good feeling at allll.
Reply
:iconpsycho-ferret-killer:
psycho-ferret-killer Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011
I really love the emotion that you have just thrown into this piece, its beautiful and devestating at the same time. Well done :) xxx
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:iconakemi219:
Akemi219 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel you I have a whole book of poems and songs about this guy its mostly emoish ones
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011   Writer
haha. it's that the way it goes.
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:iconakemi219:
Akemi219 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
ikr ;)
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:iconmigmoogle18:
MigMoogle18 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011  Student Photographer
How touching I cried after I read this then I saw it was posted on my birthday when my ex broke up with me ironic but I love it
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011   Writer
oh. ironic. far too ironic.
thank you <3
Reply
:iconbuckiesmom:
buckiesmom Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011
I just love this so much. I can relate to your writing in so many ways.
My fav part:
"you once told me, my heartbeat was your favorite song. well, broken hearts don't beat anyway."
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011   Writer
thank you so much <3
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:iconaitsukijessi:
aitsukijessi Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2010
so pretty <3 i know where you're comin from
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011   Writer
thank you!
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:iconaitsukijessi:
aitsukijessi Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2011
you're very welcome.
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:iconaitsukijessi:
aitsukijessi Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2011
of course!
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:iconcaliphone:
Caliphone Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
=) this flows beautifully. At times it veers toward not making sense and then swerves back into clarity. I enjoy that a lot. My favorite bits are:

"and the tip of my tongue is stained with the taste of stale paint from the renovating you've done with my mind."

and

"and some days, when i'm waiting for the earth to move again, i count every one of my eyelashes and measure the distance it would take for them to fall so i can calculate all the wishes i'm missing."
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2010   Writer
so i like this comment a whole lot. since that's basically my entire life in a sentence--veers toward not making sense and then swerves back into clarity" I LIKE IT (:
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:iconcaliphone:
Caliphone Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
=D yay!
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:iconbuckiesmom:
buckiesmom Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010
:*(
if your goal was to affect deeply, to bring about tears, to make what is unclear very clear..
mission accomplished.
beautiful write and just what I needed to see this morning (through my tears)
our song has ended because he killed my heart with his lies, once again.
Reply
:iconalterego1629:
AlterEgo1629 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Wierd that you picked a hundred and fifty one days, since thats how long, starting yesterday, that the guy I love is gone.
Must be fate that I found this today.
I love it. You are very skilled in the ways of beautiful imagery and flowing sentences.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010   Writer
awh, what a crazy little coincidence.

thank you so much. (:
Reply
:iconlivingthischaos:
LivingThisChaos Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2010
I fell in love with this. So unique, beautifullly written, and full of expression and voice. It was perfect.
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2010   Writer
you are so so sweet. thank you so much. (:
Reply
:iconrukiakuchiki500:
Rukiakuchiki500 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010
i love this so much, i can't even explain
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010   Writer
thank you! <3
Reply
:iconrukiakuchiki500:
Rukiakuchiki500 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010
can i like, use some of these lines?

for lyrics?
Reply
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